After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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