What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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