If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
