i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
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He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
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I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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