Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize