I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
