We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
