I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize