Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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