I am in a vortex of obligation.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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