How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
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A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
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He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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