Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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