She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
