My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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