Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
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He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
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when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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