look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
