so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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