I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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