your thong is hanging out like whoa
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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