I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize