Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Me too!
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you traded sex for a burrito?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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