shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
