I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
My vagina just clenched in fear
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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