I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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