Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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