so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
