oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Randomize
