my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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