Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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