Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
