I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
