she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
