So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
