Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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