Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
