If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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