hotel room ftw
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
