I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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