Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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