If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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