I can tuck mytits in my pants
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
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oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
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All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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