So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
