Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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