guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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