as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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