after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
