I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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