Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Randomize
