ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize