the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize