im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
