why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Randomize
