HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Just cropdusted the office
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize