I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
