I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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