he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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