Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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