So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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