It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
