You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
