She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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