Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize