im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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