You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize