Screwed.edu
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
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