is your mom at the bar?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
