ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
