I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
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